Report from a dream shaman

Hello everyone!

Since coming back from Peru I have had many opportunities to work with plant teachers here in Mexico. Sometime in March I plan to go to Oaxaca, MX to work with mushrooms and salvia. The mushrooms called derrumbes start to show up in March sometime so I have been doing alot of writing while waiting for this time to come.

I finally have finished the chacruna report of my last diet in Peru which is posted below.

Cheers!
Juan

On October 31st, 2006 I began a one week diet with chacruna. I was in the same location
where I had done my diet with Ajo Sacha just a few weeks earlier in Iquitos, Peru.

Chacruna is believed by many shamans to bestow many spiritual blessings upon those dieting with her. Without question, she gives one the gift of vision in the astral and spiritual realms which are realized on the physical plane as clarity, discernment and protection.

Once again, I was drinking a tea made from the chacruna plant on a daily basis, and I was bathing in a very concentrated mixture of chacruna every morning and every evening. This time, I was eating much less food. Daily, the shaman would bring me only fruits and water and he warned me that this experience would be far more intense. On the 1st, 3rd and 5th evenings of the diet, I was also drinking the sacred medicine ayahuasca.

Around 7pm the shaman came to my room to begin the ayahuasca ceremony. He asked me if I could see the symbolism of beginning my diet on Halloween or “Dia de los muertos” as it is called in Peru. Intuitively, I felt this was a very good omen indeed which signified another level of removing our masks, dying to the ego and being reborn. The shaman agreed.

As we began the ceremony, I got up to light a candle and I almost stepped on a centipede! Fortunately, I was still wearing my shoes, so I stomped him. The shaman laughed at me because he could see I really did not like the centipedes. This was the second one I had killed in my room in the last week and they really gave me the creeps. I could not get the vision out of my mind of finding one in my bed, which made me more uncomfortable as time passed.

“No te preocupes, Juan. Estas protegido!” (Do not worry, You are protected) said the shaman.

During the ayahuasca ceremony, I had many beautiful visions of my own death. There was a peace and serenity in these visions because I had the full realization that I had found my true purpose in life. At the end, I was met with a sense of completion and accomplishment as well as a knowing that my life had benefitted humanity through the work I had done with sacred plants. I also realized
that life was but one phase in the soul’s evolution. Rather than fearing the end, I found an eagerness to embrace a new beginning.

The following morning I began drinking the chacruna tea and within an hour I had fallen into a deep sleep.

Several hours later I woke up with a very clear recollection of my dream experiences which were a recurring theme in the chacruna diet.

I was in the basement of a mansion where a film crew was working. There was alot of construction going on as well.

As several people came up to me and asked about the details of individual scenes that were to be filmed, I began to realize that we were all making a movie and I was the director.

I decided to go check out the first floor of the mansion and it looked like a gangsta rap star’s house from an episode of MTV Cribs. The floors were all white marble and all of the walls were glass with 360 degree views of the caribbean ocean where it was located.

After checking out the first floor, I decided to see what the master bedroom looked like so I went up to the second floor. I took a nap in the master bedroom and when I woke up I had a level of lucidity that more closely resembled waking life than a dream.

I had all of my physical senses such as touch, smell, taste etc. In fact, as time went by, this was much more like an out of body experience. When I walked I could feel and hear my feet touching the floor and I was totally cognizant of my actions. There was no dreamy aspect to it.

As I came down the stairs from the master bedroom to the first floor I saw the boxer Lennox Lewis and ESPN Fitness Deva Kianna Tom talking to each other. They were both very upset with me and insisting that this was their shoot and they were tired of waiting to film their scenes. Kianna even told me that the crew actually hated me even though they pretended to like me. Lennox then threatened me and told me to “Go back to sleep….or I will put you back to sleep” as he taunted me with his fists in my face.

Upon awakening, I immediately understood much of the symbology from the dream. The three stories of the house represented the three states of consciousness. The basement was the subconscious where all of our realities are constructed. The second floor represented conscious awareness or the physical realm. Both Lennox Lewis and Kianna were representative of the male and female aspects of the ego trying to convince me that they were the director and that their version of reality was the correct one.

The concept that our lives were really movies that we are both creating and directing on a very unconscious level was one that chacruna shared with me frequently throughout the diet.

Now I could clearly see why the shaman said this diet would be more intense. The “dream” I had just experienced seemed to be a parallel universe or an alternate reality which was just as real, if not more so than normal waking physical reality. I had only been awake for about a half hour recording the details of my first dream when I became so sleepy that I fell back into a deep sleep.

In the following dream, I was at my Grandmother’s house in The United States. My Grandfather was in a wheelchair and he radiated an incredible energy of pure love to me. My Mother came into the room and told me we would be leaving to go to the airport in a few hours. She asked me if
my bags were packed and if I was ready to go.

As I went to the guest bedroom in my Grandmother’s house to get my bags, I began to look out the window. I could see that virtually nothing had changed in over 30 years since the last time I had been there. Slowly, I began to realize I was dreaming. But once again, this was much more than a lucid dream. I was in some kind of an out of body state or a parallel reality. I had all of my senses just as I did in the waking world and all of the characteristics of this state were closer to the waking world than they were to the dreamworld.

As I went back into the living room to see my Mother and my Grandfather, I began to question the reality more and more. I asked myself where my Grandmother was. I could not find my Grandmother and then I realized that my Grandfather was not my real Grandfather. I mentioned these things to my Mother and I told her this must be a dream because all of these things were not right and I could not even remember leaving Peru. I assured her that I must be dreaming.

We continued to talk more about the nature of reality and my Mother questioned my ability to distinguish the difference between dreams and reality. She mentioned to me that reality was wherever my undivided attention was and she challenged me to wake up. “Regardless of how many times you wake up, you are still dreaming…”, she said. She suggested that our entire lives were illusions created out of both imagination and memory and she again challenged me to wake up.

This reality was so real that I could not wake up. I tried every method I could think of to wake up, but I could not. My Mother argued that surely if this was a dream that I should be able to wake up. She explained that whether it was a dream or reality, or an astral projection or an out of body state, that these were all states of consciousness created with my own thoughts and desires. She told me that regardless of the dream, the inability to wake up is a sure sign that one is unwilling to accept full responsibility for the realities they had created.

At this point, I realized that my Mother was really the spirit of Chacruna appearing to me. I knew then, that obviously I was dreaming and I started running down a grassy knoll and I tried to fly. As I began to fly, I assured myself that I was dreaming, yet I was now perplexed with even deeper
mysteries. It is true, I reasoned, that if I wake up, I will still be dreaming. And even if I were to one day wake up completely from my waking dream, just who would I be? And where would I be? I began to see the logic in Chacrunas wisdom. I was choosing to remain asleep due to a lack of responsibility as well as a fear of awakening to the unknown.

When I awoke from this dream, I had fruit for dinner and I bathed in the Chacruna mixture. As I was recording my dream experiences, Chacruna spoke to me telepathically instructing me to relax and to get some rest. She explained that since I would be drinking ayahuasca the following evening and since I had already had two very intense teachings from her, she could sense I needed a little time to process all of the information.

I certainly did not disagree with her. As I had already slept 15 of the last 24 hours, I had no trouble staying awake. I read and meditated and listened to music. I even watched a few DVD’s on my laptop. Periodically, I would receive messages from Chacruna which I would record.

The following evening the shaman came to begin the ayahuasca ceremony. We spent some time talking and as I got up from bed to drink some more tea, the shaman stopped me from putting the cup to my mouth. I looked inside the cup and there was a dead centipede in it! Once again the shaman just laughed, but it really gave me the creeps!

After the ayahuasca ceremony that evening, I was laying in bed meditating and I was just about ready to go to sleep. When I reached up to turn off the light I saw there was a huge centipede on my pillow, right next to my head! I jumped up out of bed and I could not find any bug spray or anything to catch the centipede with. Finally, I found a can of aerosol hair spray under the sink which I lit with my lighter to torch the centipede.

During the whole process I could hear the voice of Chacruna laughing at me. I remembered hearing that at times the plants can have a very twisted sense of humor and now I had a good firsthand knowledge of exactly what that meant.

In the morning when the shaman came with my breakfast, I told him what had happenned. Again he just smiled and said, “Estas protegido!” (You are protected)

Something told me that I should accept the teaching that the spirit of Chacruna was protecting me and I would not see any more centipedes.

I said, “OK, Gracias!!” to both the shaman and the spirit of Chacruna for this protection.

Interestingly, I did not see another centipede for the remainder of my time in Peru.

That evening when I went to sleep Chacruna appeared to me as a female attorney. In all of the various scenes in my dream she would always be by my side as I was being tempted by outside forces which were attempting to lead me astray.

The outside forces would always manifest in different forms and provide very convincing arguments as to why they had power over me, yet Chacruna always provided the logic that allowed me to see through the illusions. In all of my confrontations with opposing forces, I would overcome them by knowing the laws which Chacruna had taught me. By being in harmony with the laws, nothing could harm me.

In another dream the same evening, I was at a 5 star restaurant with some of the most powerful and affluent individuals in the world. I was sitting at the bar watching all of the people who could have practically anything they wanted. They would order the most expensive wines and foods and be waited upon by servants, yet they were never able to satisfy their appetites or appreciate the things they were receiving. The more they ate, the emptier and more miserable they became. When I was given a menu and asked what I would like to order, I could see that all of the items which the elite considered to be of value were actually deadly poisons to the human soul. As I left the restaurant I was met by a priest who was praising me for my strength and courage to resist temptation. He began to adorn me with a golden necklace and appoint me as a holy man. The necklace was solid gold and as he put it around my neck, he mentioned that it was only halfway complete because it costed one million dollars. He explained that as soon as more offerings were received that he would complete the necklace for me. I declined to receive the necklace or the appointment as a holy man from the priest. I asked him if he knew how many people we could help
with one million dollars and I told him that buying gold necklaces was far from being holy or spiritual in my opinion.

Later, we sold the necklace for cash and then we threw a rave party on the beach and gave away all kinds of free psychedelics, sacred plants and lucid dreaming devices to the public to help them wake up.

In the following dream, I was in the jungle and I was in a very meditative state walking alone and talking to the plants and animals. The shaman was there and he was talking to me and showing me which plants were best to diet with.

When I woke up, the shaman was knocking on my door. He had brought my breakfast to me and he also began to explain that he had a group of two other woman who wanted to do the diet in the jungle. Since he planned to stay in the jungle with the woman to do the diet, he asked if I would be interested in coming to the jungle with them so that he did not have to travel back and forth everyday between the jungle and town. He also explained to me that he thought being in the jungle obviously would be a good idea as it would facilitate both the learning and the intensity of the experience for me. I agreed to go to the jungle with him to complete the remainder of my diet. We travelled about 45 minutes up the river from Iquitos to a private lodge and had an ayahuasca ceremony. This ceremony was technically my 3rd and final ceremony for my one week diet, although it was the 1st ceremony for the two ladies beginning their one week diet.

During the last week my body had become very weak. On most days I was eating only one or two pieces of fruit and drinking the chacruna tea. Although I was excited to go to the jungle and finish my diet, the process of moving from town and riding up the river during the hottest part of the day left me physically exhausted. When we got to the lodge, I sat down on a mattress in the ceremony house and fell asleep.

In my dream I was outside at the lodge and I was meditating and eating an apple. I was thinking to myself that even this physical life is a dream and someday I am sure I will wake up completely in this dream too. I asked myself if I was dreaming and I told myself that I was positive this was real life because I was at the lodge. When I woke up I was shocked to realize that I really had been dreaming and it was so life like that I could not distinguish the dream from reality as Chacruna had suggested to me earlier in the week. At first I felt a little discouraged, but I heard Chacruna remind me of the Hermetic axiom, “As above, so below”. She assured me that in reality this was a very good sign. I was getting into the consistent habit of questioning all realities and this was a step in the process of awakening.

Another thing that stuck with me from this dream (which became more and more common at the lodge) was the loss of time. The dream seemed to have lasted only a few minutes, yet when I woke up it was almost 8 hours later and the ceremony was beginning. At other periods, I would have dreams that seemed to have lasted for days or even lifetimes and upon awakening I would discover that only several minutes had passed in physical time.

Prior to the ceremony I began to talk with the two other ladies at the lodge. One was from Canada and her name was Eryca. The other lady was named Tabitha and she was from London. While we were waiting for the shaman to come and start the ceremony, we began talking about our experiences with Ayahuasca.

Eryca mentioned that she had read that the first scientists to study the effects of Ayahuasca called it Telepathine due to it’s proven ability to heighten mental powers such as clairvoyance, precognition and telepathy. As a psychic by profession, she was greatly interested in seeing if Ayahuasca could assist her in developing her mental and spiritual faculties. I told her had also read about this and in the amazon it was very common for the shamans to have shared visions.

The following morning, Eryca mentioned to me that she had a vision about me during the ceremony which was symbolized by the tarot card The Five Of Wands. She said that this particular card signified division and failure in partnerships and she asked me if I happenned to be involved in any potential business deals. She told me that the energy of this card was to be very careful of whom I was dealing with. She offered to do a Tarot reading for me to see if we could get any further information regarding this. The reading was very insightful and the most convincing aspect of the reading was that in the position which dealt with business I drew The Five Of Wands!

Due to the accuracy of Eryca’s visions, I recalled a vision that I had which I originally gave very little thought to. I saw a friend of mine in Iquitos who was walking out of the front door of his house on crutches and his right leg was bandaged heavily. As my friend had recently left Iquitos to have emergency surgery on his leg in Lima, Peru, this vision did not surprise me. However, seeing him at his house in Iquitos was odd because everyone knew he had been in the hospital for over a month. Upon returning to Iquitos at the end of the diet, I learned the night I had the vision of him at his house was the very night he returned to his home in Iquitos to be with his family.

The following day Eryca, Tabitha and myself decided to eat several San Pedro cactus. In Peru, many shamans mix San Pedro with Chacruna. The San Pedro is known as a very strong and masculine spirit which is a true guide and guardian. The experience lasts for 15 hours or longer and is a profound journey in connecting with nature. The Chacruna mixed with San Pedro is known to give incredible visions during the night hours. We all laughed and figured since we already were dieting with Chacruna which went so well with San Pedro that we should give it a try. Since we were only eating an apple a day and the Chacruna tea on our diet we joked that a few San Pedro cactus should give us a little extra energy if nothing else.

The spirit of San Pedro communicated to me through the experiences of the day which confirmed what the shaman had been telling me all along.

“You are protected”.

Just after ingesting the cactus, I went to meet the boat at the dock of the lodge which had delivered some food and water to us. Walking back up the stairs to the retreat, I had both of my hands full and I slipped on the muddy steps, catching myself on the tiptoes of my wet Reebocks. As I looked down, I saw several rusted nails sticking out of the stair I was balanced on. I realized that falling could have resulted in a very serious injury such as a puncture wound from the nails, getting a concussion by slipping and hitting my head, knocking my teeth out by falling face first onto the stairs, or even breaking my leg or my knee from the fall. As I was balanced on the steps, time seemed to stop and I looked to my left to see the shaman who was now just smiling at me. He said nothing, although I could clearly hear him telling me I was protected.

San Pedro is a very outgoing and active spirit to work with. Whereas the ayahuasca medicine is all about journeys to infinite spiritual dimensions, San Pedro is all about merging and connecting with nature and the physical dimension. As the hours passed and we began to feel the effects of the San Pedro cactus more and more, we became more and more active and we went swimming in the amazon which helped me to overcome my fear of being eaten alive by an anaconda or a crocodile.

Later in the evening, at the peak of the San Pedro journey, one of my friends called me outside to look at the stars. After a period of gazing at the stars, we realized that we both had on only our pants without our shirts and no shoes. We did not have a flashlight and we had wandered far from our maloka hut and we were in the middle of nowhere in the jungle.

The intial reaction for most people in this situation would most likely be to panic. However, there was an understanding between us that was clearly being received from the spirit of San Pedro. We both knew that at any time we could have stepped on snakes, scorpions, rocks etc. and received life threatening injuries. Yet, through this entire experience we could sense a guide that not only protected us, but one that also led us back to our maloka in total darkness. Overall the experience with San Pedro had left me with a knowing that I was one with nature and not seperate from it. The greatest teaching that had been imparted to us all was that when one is in harmony with nature, all things are truly possible and that no serious harm or injury would happen to you.

The next evening we had another ayahuasca ceremony and the shaman was singing the same icaro over and over and over again. An icaro is a song that functions much like an interdimensional telephone number. Willing spirits give the shaman the correct icaro to contact them and when the shaman hums the tune of the specific icaro, the spirit associated with that icaro appears and performs healings. Normally, a shaman will sing many different icaros over a period of several hours, however, during this ceremony, the shaman sang the same icaro all night.

Icaros are most often simply tones or frequencies that are not in any specific language, as was the case during this ceremony. But after several hours of hearing the icaro, I began to clearly hear a voice in English. As the shaman did not speak a word of English, I knew the voice I was hearing was that of the spirit making contact with me and speaking in a voice it knew I would understand clearly.

The rhythym of the original icaro sounded like “YA-YA - da-da-da-dee-dee - dee-dee-da-da”.When I heard the voice in English it said in a very audible voice, “Juan, Juan, This is my jingle. Let’s intermingle”.

In all of my previous ayahuasca ceremonies I had seen many incredible visions, but I had never made actual contact with a spirit or interdimensional being which is a very common occurence for the shamans. intuitively, I felt that hearing the icaro in English as an invitation to “intermingle” was one step closer to actually making such a connection.

As the effects of the ayahuasca became stronger and stronger, I found myself in a deeply visual trance like state where I was flying through the clouds. There was a peace and serenity in this state that I cannot describe with words, but I saw unicorns, angels, rainbows and lightworkers welcoming me to their paradise. They shared a very beautiful truth with me that all things are possible to those who assist in the creation of the cosmic plan of evolution. Taking an active role in the conscious co-creation of the cosmos is synonymous with being in harmony with both the laws of nature and the divine plan.

The following day I continued drinking chacruna tea. As I drifted off to sleep I had a dream which seemed very symbolic to me in light of my recent ayahuasca visions the night before.

Once again I was flying through the clouds and in the next instant, I was in a meeting with Stephen Spielberg and a board of studio executives who asked me what the script was about for my upcoming film project. We discussed in detail the possibility of an apocalyptic tale of the impending doom of civilization due to wars and global catastrophes. The executives were all in agreement that death and destruction would be a sure hit at the box office although they wanted to know if I had made a definite decision as to how the movie would end. Everyone loved the concept, yet they were all leary about financing a project with such as dark ending due to the fact that it was not a good vehicle for a sequel were the film to be a success. I mentioned that the vision I had for the ending was one in which humanity wakes up and realizes that their true place in the cosmic plan is to assist in the peaceful evolution of all forms of life by living in harmony with nature and the cosmos. I reasoned that this ending would be wide open for many great sequels in the years to come as there would always be new planets, dimensions and worlds for the enlightened humans to travel to and save from extinction. As I finished my pitch, I could see Speilberg smiling and nodding his head in agreement. The executives congratulated me and told me that they would back me and give me whatever resources I needed to film such a beautiful script.

During the last ayahuasca ceremony of the Chacruna diet on the following day, I made contact with one of the spirit doctors for the first time. Normally, after about 45 minutes of drinking ayahuasca, you will begin to see visions, but in this particular ceremony, the visions began within twenty minutes and they were so intense it was more like smoking 5-MEO-DMT than it was to any ayahuasca experience I had ever had previously. It was so overwhelming that I knew I was leaving my physical body, in fact, I could not even feel my body any longer. The visions I had initially closely resembled the aboriginal art that is painted on digeridoos. I could hear all kinds of buzzing and humming and everything was vibrating and pulsating. The best way I can think of to explain this is that normally in an ayahuasca ceremony one may have visions, but this was so powerful that I was the vision. There was a complete dissolution of the physical body and ego and a morphing or merging with another state of being.

My next point of focus was the face of what the shamans of Peru call a “morena” which is not a black or dark energy, but rather a deep brown colored benevolent spirit. I recall sensing a love, warmth and compassion that was beyond the physical plane as I looked into her eyes. I did not need to say a word, because this vibration was so completely harmonious and beautiful that it dissolved any fears or doubts I could have had. I do not know where I was, but I was not in the ceremony house laying on my mattress as I had been just a few moments before. What seemed to be a few minutes later, I awoke as if from a deep sleep on my mattress in the ceremony house. For the next several hours, I lay awake contemplating what had just happened.

Technically the Chacruna diet was over, yet the most powerful experience was still to come. It was the morning of the 7th day when I woke up and we were planning to take the boat back into Iquitos after breakfast. The shaman came in and sat down next to me and begin talking to the group. Since I was the only one in the group who could speak Spanish, I was translating everything he said to the group. He began to explain that the icaros he sang during the ceremony actually called specific spirit doctors to the ceremony to conduct healing rituals. He told us that there was a hierarchy of healing spirits that helped humans to purify themselves and raise their vibratory rate to be able to access more interior spiritual realms. The group of spirits closest to the vibration of humans are called “morenas”. Morenas are always present to assist the humans in their evolution. When the intention on the part of the human is clear and their vibratory rate has been raised through the purification of the diet process, contact with the morenas is normally made.

I had not said a word to the shaman about what happened the night before, so this was really blowing my mind!

As the shaman continued talking, he began to tell the story of how his grandfather had been a curandero and he began studying with him when he was only 4 years old. For a period of 10 years, he watched his grandfather prepare all of the various teas and baths for the diet process. When he was 14 years old he had been dieting and studying for 10 years and he was allowed to drink ayahuasca for the first time. He went on to explain how this was his shamanic initiation and since he had already been in a process of preparation and purification for 10 years, many spirits appeared to him in the ceremony.

At this point, I had been translating for about 30 minutes and I began to have trouble maintaining my focus and understanding what the shaman was saying. I thought I was just tired from the night before, which is common the day following a ceremony. I excused myself and let the group know that I just had to lay down for a few moments. I was already laying in a hammock in the ceremony house so I just snuggled under the blanket and closed my eyes. What I saw looked like something from an Alex Grey vision. I was viewing a world of pure vibration and energy. Everything was pulsating, breathing and alive. Everything had eyes, a spirit and consciousness. It was infinite, yet at the same time it was all one thing. Once again, there was a complete dissolution of the physical body and the ego. This was not a vision. I had merged completely with this presence in another world or dimension where both space and time did not exist as they do in the physical realm. There was an immediate deep conviction that this was a connection with plant sentience instead of contact with a spirit being from the night before. There were voices I could hear that sounded like munchkins from The Wizard of Oz movie that were greeting me. Two voices I can recall specifically, said, “Hey Juan! What took you so long?” and “Get in here! We have been waiting for you!”

It seemed like an infinity had passed where I had seen a vision so complete that there was no doubt left as to how my path would progress. I had received a complete transference of consciousness that answered any questions or concerns I could have had. This was a major source of healing that I had been seeking my whole life. I had found a surety and a knowing that resolved the doubt and confusion that had prevented me from taking action in the past. As I was acknowledging all of this information, my senses slowly began to come back. It seemed like the time I had been gone was an entire lifetime if not longer.

The shaman was asking me if I could help him continue translating. I asked how long had I been sleeping and they all looked at me with puzzled looks on their faces. Apparently what I experienced as a lifetime in this visionary state occurred in roughly 20 seconds.

As I awoke and we finished talking, I left the ceremony house to go back to my private maloka and pack my bags as we were all planning to take the next boat back into Iquitos. I was walking along the wooden walkway which was about 2 feet off the ground that connected all of the malokas of the retreat together. One of the boards was dry rotted so bad that it completely disentigrated under my right foot and my foot went through the walkway and landed on the ground beneath.

Once more, I could not help but realize the symbolism of this event. I was walking barefoot along the walkways and any number of things could have happenned to me which would have resulted in serious injury, such as cutting my foot on a nail, skinning my shin severely on the next board in the walkway, or even stepping on centipedes or snakes or breaking my ankle on the ground below when my foot touched down.

As I left the lodge, I felt I had fully received and accepted chacruna´s blessing of protection. Likewise, in all of the symbolism of the never ending dream and writing one´s own script in life, I felt challenged to bring as much consciousness as possible to whatever reality I was co-creating. The interconnectedness I had found with all of nature and the rest of humanity as a result of experiencing these transpersonal states of awareness was truly best explained by the words of the shaman which I would remember everytime I tried to find a way to explain it all.

¨No hay palabras explicarlo, pero sigues tomando su medicina!¨ which means ¨There are no words to explain it, but keep drinking your medicine!”

The Personal Experience of Ecstasy (Jhana)

October 2, 2004

By the contemplative recluse monk Sotapanna Jhanananda (Jeffrey S, Brooks)


Please, as I know many people have excellent meditation experiences, I therefore do not assume that my subjective experiences are any better or different from anyone else's, however I have recently received a few questions regarding my experiences during sleep and meditation. Here are some answers regarding those subjective experiences. I hope this writing will help even one or two people in any small way.

1) "What types of kamma, actions, behaviors, practices, when done, lead to long-term happiness and welfare?"

I have found no evidence to support a belief that any ritualized devotional practice will do anything other than entertain an individual, therefore I do none. I do not seek to accumulate positive merit, because I cannot see how enlightenment can come in the future. Something put off into the future never comes. Enlightenment can therefore only come in the present. Thus, I have been intent upon enlightenment in this very lifetime not accumulating merit for a future that never comes.

The "method" I followed was to lead a simple contemplative life. A contemplative life is one that is based upon introspection and selfawareness in every moment, as well as a formal daily meditation practice.

2) "What meditation object do you now use?"

My meditation object(s) are the breath (at the tip of the nose), the body (inside and out), the 6 senses, and the cognitive processes (mental states and mind objects). And, I practice "sensitive to bliss (piiti) and joy (sukha). Through many years of this practice I have developed a lucid awareness domain that can hold all of these "objects" within it as one multidimensional "object," while the mind remains tranquil and the body remains relaxed. I practice this way because the historic Buddha taught meditation (sati) this way, and I have found it is a very effective regimen.

3) "What practice regimen do you follow?"

I follow the practices outlined in the three suttas on mindfulness (sati).

Anapanasati Sutta (MN 118) "Mindfulness of the breath"

Kayagata-sati Sutta (MN 119) “Mindfulness of the Body"

Satipatthana Sutta (MN 10) "the Four Cornerstones of Mindfulness"

Maha-satipatthana Sutta (DN 22) "the Great Discourse on the Four Cornerstones of Mindfulness"

4) "How often do you meditate, and how long have you been meditating?"

I have a formal meditation practice in which I sit to meditate 3 times a day for no less than an hour each sit. I have sat in meditation almost everyday for the last 30 years. Please understand that even though I have been practicing for a long time the charisms (jhana-nimitta) began to emerge in the first year of practice.

5) "What happens during your meditation sits? Do you go into absorption? If you do get absorbed how long does it take for that to happen generally?"

What happens during my sit is within a few minutes the body and mind settle to tranquility, and the pleasant sensations of a "pleasure not born of sensory input" (jhana-nimitta) that is with me all day long, becomes much more intense (lucid). These charismatic signs, symptoms and manifestations (jhana-nimitta) become my meditation objects, as I have practice "sensitive to bliss (piiti) and joy (sukha) all along.

I define bliss and ecstasy in terms of the charismatic phenomena. I meditate thus filled with a pleasant abiding (ecstasy/jhana), as though it is my last act in life. So, I just sit with no predetermined length of time.

There is no unpleasant sensation during these meditations due to the length of the sit. After about an hour and a half the sensations diminish a little, so I get up and go about my day, or rest the body depending at what end of the day it is. I sit this way three times a day, upon arising (4:30 AM), noon, and just before bed (9 PM). At night sometimes several hours goes by before I rest the body. When I sit to meditate, I do not pay attention to the clock at all, although occasionally I see the time before and after a meditation, so I know roughly how long my typical meditation is.

6). "Why do you limit your sitting to about an hour and a half at a time? Is it because the body can't take anymore?"

Since I sit as though it is my last act in life, then I let the session dictate when it is over. I do not force the session to be longer, through a craving for absorption, nor do I sit less due to a craving for sense experience. I also do not end the session because of bodily discomfort, because I rarely find bodily discomfort during meditation, or at other times.

7) "Do you experience ecstasy, joy or bliss (jhana) during your meditations, and if so how often?"

During most of my meditations for several years now some degree of pleasant sensation arises. These sensations were not typical of my daily experience before I became skillful in meditation. These pleasant sensations are a "pleasure not born of sense contact," which means they are not caused by sensory input. I believe these charismatic signs, symptoms and manifestations (jhana-nimitta) are what mystics call ecstasy (jhana), joy (sukha) or bliss (piiti).

8) "Does this ecstasy, joy or bliss remain with you throughout the day when you are not meditating?"

Yes, the various charismatic signs that I associate with ecstasy, joy or bliss that arise during my meditations remains with me all day long. However, these manifestations are not as intense or lucid as they are during meditation. And, part of this moment-to-moment reality for me is I am simply more happy and fulfilled in every moment than I can ever recall being. This has been true all day long every day for several years now.

9) "Have the pains of sickness, old age and injuries been diminished in any way by this bliss?"

Yes, I used to have chronic arthritic joint pain, which is now gone. This body has advanced tooth decay, but there is little pain from it. This body on occasion still becomes ill, such as passing kidney stones a few years ago. This body has a crushed disk, and occasionally the body sustains an injury. However, I rarely experience suffering due to pains of any kind. When pain does arise it has only become an interesting arising of sensations, and not unpleasant.

10) Have you found these bliss states reduced the hindrances in any way, or have you found they only "suppress" the hindrances.

I have found the five hindrances to enlightenment: sensual desire, ill will, restlessness, sloth and torpor and doubt, etc., have slowly diminished through the years as the ecstasy has saturated my daily life. I now do not seem to experience sensual desire, ill will, restlessness, sloth and torpor, or doubt, therefore I believe it is reasonable to say, cultivating the ecstatic states, as I have done, leads to cessation of the hindrances to enlightenment.

Jhanasamyutta SN 9.53
"Bhikkhus, there are these five higher fetters. What five? Lust for form, lust for the formless, conceit, restlessness, ignorance. These are the five higher fetters. The four absorptions (jhanas) are to be developed for direct knowledge of these five higher fetters, for the full understanding of them, for their utter destruction, for their abandoning."
(Samyutta Nikaya tans. Bhikkhu Bodhi, Wisdom, 2000)

11) Have you found these bliss states have reduced your level of unhappiness or dissatisfaction in any way, or have you found they only "suppress" dissatisfaction (dukkha).

For several years now I have found, all day long everyday, I am more happy, content, fulfilled and empowered than I can ever recall being. I can only assume this happiness and contentment is due to a saturation effect from spending so much time in the ecstatic states.

Samadhanga Sutta (AN V. 28)
"He permeates and pervades, suffuses and fills this very body with the ecstasy (piiti) and bliss (sukha) born from withdrawal. There is nothing of his entire body un-pervaded by ecstasy (piiti) and bliss (sukha) born from withdrawal."

12) "During your sittings do you sometimes leave the body and start flying up into the universe?"

No, I do not astral project while in seated meditation. I am only mindful of the charismatic phenomena that arise during these meditations, and I endeavor to relinquish the grasp of self identification upon all sense objects. However sometimes a powerful energy rises up the spine (kundalini) which forms a wave front that collapses the psyche upon itself in a kind of annihilation in a brilliance and ecstasy. I just submit myself to that naturally arising process with no resistance. However, I do have a lucid sleep state in which I have out-of-body experiences and other nonmaterial world experiences.

13) "If you do not lose awareness when the body sleeps, how do you know that you are sleeping?"

When I lay the body down at night, I am observant of the progression of sleep. I have observed this every night for quite some time, so I am familiar with the manifestations of sleep that this body and mind experience. At times I have also heard the body snore during the early stages of sleep.

During my daily sleep cycle I typically pass through about 3 stages of progressing relaxation of the body and stilling of the cognitive processes, then a blackness overwhelms the sense fields. Eventually another world that is as lucid, well more lucid, than this world opens up to me. During my sleep often it seems like a whole lifetime, and sometimes even great expanses of time seem to pass.

Eventually when the rest period for this body comes to an end at about 4 AM I become aware of this time/space domain where this body that is now typing this message resides. This is rather remarkable to me each time, because so much time passes there that this life becomes a tiny fragment of the ancient past, then all of a sudden I am back here again. It is a mystery that I cannot explain.

Things happen in this "sleep" domain that are too numerous to say. Sometimes I travel across the landscape, birdlike. Sometime I fly through space to other planets. I often relive whole lifetimes. Sometimes I visit infinite domains of existence where a galaxy of beings, like a brilliant scintillating ocean of infinite love-beings, sings to each other the sweetest love song. And, of course I am singing with them. Sometimes I become that whole ocean of beings, so that each point of light is a cell within my organism, and I am fully conscious of each and every cell, which is a being.

I have read in Buddhism that this place is called, "Indra's Net of Jewels." I have found the same place referred to in Vaishnava Hinduism as, "Krishna's Ocean of Milk." And, in Kabbalah I believe this is called "Devakutt with the Shakina."

Sometimes I fly all over the world like a fairy touching each and every being with a touch of love and light, almost like the myth of Santa Clause, or Mercury and his caduceus, or in Hopi culture they call this one, Kokopele, the "water sprinkler." There is much, much more that occurs in my "sleep" domain. Every night, there is no break in awareness that I can detect, and I do much, much more there than I do here.

How do I know "I was sleeping?" Well, my awareness seems to be continuous, And therefore there appears to be no unconsciousness, however I was not aware of this body that is now typing this message. And, when I once again become aware of this body after "sleep," the thing feels rested. Then I get it up and sit it in meditation again for an hour and a half or so.

14) "Do you remember doing any kind of religious or spiritual practices before this lifetime?"

As I said I have recalled many thousands of life times. Most of the ones that come to mind at present were engaged in some kind of spiritual practice behavior. From these recollections it appears that I have incarnated in pretty much every culture on this Earth, as well as other planets. I have recalled at least 2 previous lifetimes as a North American medicine man. At least one as a South American medicine woman. At least one as an African tribesman medicine man; a medieval European monk. I have also been a farmer, and engineer, and many other occupations.

15) "Is it true that one wanders through the various realms, sometimes in heaven, sometimes in hell, over and over again?"

I have entered many, many heavenly planes in this lifetime, as well as many, many hellish planes. I am certain everyone intent upon enlightenment must pass through all of the planes from hell to heaven and beyond.

16) "Is it true that the human birth is rare, hard to obtain, and also the best state in which to practice Dhamma?"

There are over 6 billion people on this planet, and most of them are not intent upon enlightenment. I have recollected many thousands of lifetimes. Therefore it does not seem reasonable to say "the human birth is rare, or hard to obtain." I have also recalled numerous lifetimes as an animal. I cannot say that the human life is superior in anyway. It does seem reasonable to say that one must practice as a human to make "progress" through the spiritual domains.

17) "How can one practice so that they will not fall away from the true Dhamma?"

I practiced as if each time I sat was my last act in life. And, I have lived every moment with the intention of becoming enlightened in this very lifetime. I am confident if one practices thus, one is likely to become enlightened.

18) "Can you give us non-jhana people a sense of the QUALITIES of these past-life recollections. Most of us are familiar with the ranges of the "feeling-qualities" from deep-sleep through dreaming through lucid- dreaming through waking (and SOME of us through waking hallucinations). Do these recollections have ANY of these normal qualities about them, or would you consider them mostly UNIQUE states of mind that are genuinely difficult-to-describe, yet as-real-as-real (or MORE than real)? Are they MORE powerful than lucid dreaming? "

The jhanic states and past lifetime recollections are as lucid, if not more lucid, or even hyper-real, than this waking reality that I share with you. The experiences during sleep are the same as lucid dreams, however some of my dreams are lucid dreams, and some times they are past life recollections, and sometimes they are travels to other planets and domains. One simply knows in the moment what it is.

I did not use to speak of these things, because I did not think people much cared to hear about them, or that they were any different from anyone else's meditation or sleep who is a skillful meditator. Now, I just speak, those who want to hear can listen, those who do not, need not listen.

I hope this message has helped at least one of you on your journey to enlightenment.

May you become enlightened in this very lifetime,

Ayahuasca and how it can cure depression

The Ayahuasca Effect

By Kirby Surprise Psy.D

The world’s most powerful antidepressant and psychotherapeutic agent may be a natural herbal tea.
As many as 40 million Americans will suffer from some form of depression during their lifetimes. For some depression will be a mercifully short episode in their lives, for millions it becomes a chronic experience of emotional pain that devastates all areas of their lives. Depression is notoriously difficult to treat, especially in its chronic form. Talk therapy is often ineffective, and anti-depressive medications sometimes have unwanted side effects. Medications such as Webutrin, Paxil, Prozac and Zoloft often leave the client with sexual dysfunction, agitation, sleeplessness and alterations in their personalities. These medications can and do save lives, but for some the side effects make them less than satisfactory answers to long term clinical depression.
Ayahuasca is a tea made from a combination of legally available plants that produces a profound alteration in consciousness. It has been used for thousands of years by South American shamans, and is currently used as a sacrament in at least two Christian based religions in with world wide memberships. It is noted for the power of the experience it produces, and the tendency for it to facilitate positive personal change in those that consume it. It is non-addictive, non-toxic, and in its classical forms, produces no physical or psychological harm to the users. The primary drug involved is N,N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT), a natural substance that is in the bodies of all mammals, and one of the most powerful hallucinogens known. DMT is extracted from any one of the plant that contain it by brewing it in water that has been made slightly acidic, in effect making tea. Once the tea is made it is considered illegal in most western countries because it contains DMT, which was made illegal as a manufactured hallucinogen before it was known it existed in natural form in the plants used to make ayahuasca.

Normally the DMT in the tea would be destroyed in the digestive system by a chemical called mono amine oxidase, rendering the tea completely inactive. With the addition of a second plant containing a mono amine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI), either in the tea with the first DMT containing plant or taken separately, The DMT survives the digestive process and reaches the brain where it alters the persons state of consciousness.

The most common anecdotal reports from use of the tea are of profound psychological and spiritual healing, accompanied by personal insight and integration. It is often reported that the tea breaks even profound depressive episodes in a single use. This positive psychological benefit is what I call the “Ayahuasca Effect.” That is, to produce an intense and positive integrative experience with lasting beneficial effects from use of the tea, with no side effects common to pharmaceutical antidepressants. The following one such personal encounter with ayahuasca;

“Sometime during graduate school, while holding two jobs and trying to raise a family, I fell into a major depression. It was the kind of illness that one could fight through to lead a normal life, but it sapped the joy and light from every experience. My wife and I fought often, the world seemed a dark and difficult place.

There should have been the relative leisure of just work and family to enjoy, but the depression hung like a dark resentful fog on every day, coloring it with hopelessness and undeserved despair. In order to keep working I sought medical help, which came in the form of anti-depressant medications. After two years of trying different medications, Zoloft was the final choice. I was told to reconcile myself to having to take this medication every day for the rest of my life. I was grateful for having a chemical floor under my feet, it saved my life, both figuratively and literally, but there were side effects. The medication left me sleepless and mildly agitated much of the time, feeling like a constant infusion of caffeine. It made sex difficult, which played hell with my self-esteem, and it did not make me able to experience happiness or joy. I had been to years of talk therapy, taken the drugs western medicine had to offer, followed the known treatment courses, they had not restored me to wholeness.

Finally, even with the medication, the illness was winning. My ability to make a meaningful connection with my wife was gone, my work was an endless parade of despair, my attitude was permanently dark and agitated. This was not who I wanted to be, not the life I had worked hard to live.
I decided I was not going to be healed by taking the advice of others, I would have to do it from within, I would look for a miracle, I would go back to the study of shamanism and find a way to heal myself. After months of research on shamanic cultures and their use of native plants I learned about ayahuasca, an herbal tea made from plants native to the Amazon basin. I read everything on the web, the books, the articles I could find, and went to an Ayahuasca conference with experts from many fields from all over the world.

What I learned was that studies had been done on members of the UDV, one of the religions that use the tea as a sacrament, which indicated ayahuasca was a powerful anti-depressant which treated the cause of the condition rather than the symptom. In short, most depression is caused by problems with the way the brain processes serotonin, which could be called the “mood” neurotransmitter. Prescription antidepressants work by various means to keep serotonin in the synapses longer. Ayahuasca contains DMT, which bonds to the 5-htp receptor sites, the same sites as serotonin. The DMT bonds at a higher rate, and the body adapts to this by increasing the number of 5-htp receptor sites, making better use of natural serotonin levels.

The UDV studies stated regular drinkers of the tea were less depressed, more social and more organized than the control groups, and that there were no physical or mental side effects to long term use in healthy individuals. Ayahuasca seemed to be an anti-depressant that treated the cause, had a better psychological outcome, and no side effects. The final factor in my decision was some of the people who I met at the conference. Many of them were long term drinkers of the tea from countries where it has been legalized. I found them to be some of the most grounded, sane, kind, and generally healthy people I had ever met.

I took the tea at 9:10 P.M. on a Friday night. The setting was a workshop I set up as a meditative space separate from the house. An altar was created, candles lit, the area smudged and cleansed. The meditation and prayer was for relief from depression, and to help me become a better person.
The nausea and lethargy often caused by the tea persisted for two hours, but there were no other noticeable effects. By midnight I believed the session a general failure. I went into the house, ate the dinner I had left in the fridge, having fasted since before lunch, and went to bed with my wife after talking briefly about the lack of significant results. Shortly after that I went to the bathroom and had an episode of explosive diarrhea that expelled the tea. It had passed all the way through my digestive tract with no real effect, and I thought that was the end of the experience.

I laid down next to my wife, who objected to the whole doing ayahuasca to treat depression concept, who I was in marriage counseling with. Despite loving each other, we had not really gotten along for several years. She went to sleep, and I lay there wondering what had gone wrong with the ayahuasca and my life.

Then, in the darkness of my inner vision, colors, in long wispy lines, like gentle rainbow vapors, began to appear. The lines moved in and out of themselves, and appeared to be lined with gear teeth moving in impossible ways. I know now that these were the classic visions of DNA reported by other drinkers. The colors became gradually brighter and the visions more intense and beautiful as I realized this was going to be far more than just some residual effect. The images became ever more beautiful and intense, surpassing any of the comparatively graceless visuals of other drugs, and I realized my body was slipping into sensations of ecstasy more sublime than anything I have ever experienced. As the experience grew ever more powerful the beauty of it became absolutely overpowering. I begged for more, became ever more immersed in indescribable gratitude and utter joy such as I had never even hoped to know. Tears began falling silently, and I remembered again asking to be relieved of my long depression and to receive help to be a better person. The euphoria was so complete it was as if I had been granted heaven itself, washing away the long years of darkness I had groped through. I was astonished that the brain was capable of experiencing such wondrous and complex imagery, of knowing such utter joy. In the midst of this my ability to think was amazingly intact. As the intensity became ever more overwhelming I realized I was losing awareness of my body altogether, into a more shamanic dimension. I mentally called for more and more, and the ecstasy and gratitude that followed seemed infinite.

Then the lessons came. They came from a hidden presence of relentless gentility I had experienced before, only now the presence had a new power and depth. I saw what could be called entities of immense beauty, but knew not to mistake images of things for the reality of something existing outside my drugged brain. Telepathically they said that I had spent most of my life running away from my own pain, manipulating, defending, sleeping, doing anything but experience the natural pain of being a human being. The gratitude I was feeling was indescribable, it filled my entire being, as the ecstasy also became absolute suffering at the same time, and I was infinitely grateful for both. The light became sacredness, pain, ecstasy and beauty as one. I found myself weeping, feeling all these emotions at once, as if I had been emotionally dead for years, and was now suddenly able to feel again. Great warm, wide rivers of tears flowed in gratitude, release and realization that I had been so cold and angry inside for so long, and was now alive and able to feel again.

The weight of how I had treated my wife during the years of depression, , flooded over me, and I sobbed heavily for not cherishing and being grateful for her all those years. This had woken her, and I told her how very sorry I was for the way I had treated her. She told me I was hallucinating, and that it was just the drug, that I didn’t really mean it. I told her I knew I was hallucinating but that it was opening my emotional centers, that this was the idea behind doing it. I tried to lie quietly through the rest of the experience so as not to worry her. I was so grateful to her that I would not dare to burden her with some request for forgiveness, I put her through enough already. We lay together quietly for the next two hours while the rest of the experience ran its course, gradually tapering off, giving ecstasy, pain and insight. Finally, when I was relatively down, we embraced and held each other until we slept. The experience lasted a bit over four hours, and felt like an eternity.
The next day I was grateful for my life for the fist time in years , for my marriage, for my family. I enjoyed parts of my life I considered a burden. Working became easier, and enjoying simple pleasures seemed natural, instead of almost impossible. The experience of not being depressed and just about perpetually irritated, of being emotionally normal again, was beyond anything I hoped for. “

Although the personal mind set and setting of the experience undoubtedly has a profound effect on the person’s experience, the “ayahuasca effect” is based not on the placebo effect, but on the neurochemistry and anatomy of the brain as it interacts with the tea. Although it is not possible to do the research needed to determine the exact cause of the “Ayahuasca effect” because of legal and practical limitations, it is possible to make an educated guess at the mechanism. This is an explanatory fiction, a story that fit’s the facts as they now appear. Let’s look at what is probably happening in the brain when a person ingests ayahuasca.

There are about a hundred billion neurons in the brain, each of these connects to as many as two hundred thousand other neurons. The cell axonal bodies of a neuron can be more than a yard long for each cell. Each neuron sends signals by generating an all or nothing pulse along the axon, which eventually branches out into thousands of dendrites that end in presynaptic membranes that release neurotransmitters that are received by receptor sites on the postsynaptic membranes of the receiving cells. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that carries messages from one cell to another, ayahuasca helps serotonin act more effectively. Substances that help a neurotransmitter act more effectively are called agonists.

There are only two major neurotransmitters in the body, glutamate and GABA. Glutamate is the “turn on” signal to the neuron, GABA is the “turn off” signal. They are essentially + and – chemical signals that pass from neuron to neuron. Each cell receives thousand of these on and off signals from thousands of other cells. When the cell has gotten enough + signals above the – signals, the cell fires and passes the electrical potential to the next cell through the axon, the “cable” it uses to connect with other cells.
On and off signals, Glutamate and GABA, that is the basis of all neural activity. The natural state of the brain is not to be at rest, it is to be at full-bore, flat out, run away seizure, neurological electrical storm. GABA provides the brakes to the natural push for maximum chaotic activity.

To get more subtlety out of the system, and to produce ordered activity, there are other neurotransmitters that modulate GABA, fine tuning it up or down, to regulate the intensity of neural activity. Many of these modulating neurotransmitter receptor sites are more concentrated in some areas of the brain than others, thus some affect different areas specific functions of the brain more than others. Serotonin and dopamine are modulating neurotransmitters, they affect GABA, in most instances inhibiting it, therefore lessening the number of “off” signals it gives neurons. Serotonin therefore, in general, takes off the brakes from neural activity and lets the neurons fire more rapidly.

When someone takes ayahuasca they are taking four chemicals, harmine, harmaline, tetrehydroharmine, and DMT, all of which are serotonin agonists, substances that assist serotonin, attach to serotonin receptors, or otherwise increase its effectiveness at removing the GABA braking system. The result is neurological activity goes up in areas of the brain that use serotonin as a modulator. The altered state of consciousness that results is because of this increased activity.

Herein also lies the reason different hallucinogens produce different types of effects on consciousness. There are many types of neurotransmitter receptor sites. Each is a gateway that when fit with the right chemical keys, opens a passage into the cell through which sodium flows to change the cells electrical balance. Each receptor type and subtype asks for a different key, or set of keys to unlock it. So, one type may want just a GABA and a serotonin molecule, while another might want those, a dopamine, six other amino acids and god knows what else in a specific order before it activates.

All of these receptor sites are distributed unevenly in the brain, therefore there effect on he GABA system in each part of the brain is highly variable. The exact “flavor” of a substance depends on what combination of brain areas are having their neural activity raised by having the GABA braking system inhibited.

Ayahuasca is both a serotonin and dopamine agonist at the same time. The other visionary substances are generally one or the other, ayahuasca is both at the same time. It activates more areas of the brain at once by Affecting GABA through more than one modulating neurotransmitter. The result is more of the brain becomes activated in a better balance than if just one or the other of the modulating neurotransmitters was activated by another single channel GABA inhibiting hallucinogen. In fact, PET scans show neurological activity during ayahuasca experiences raised up to 90% above normal over a wide area of the brain.

Here is the oversimplified short form of what ayahuasca does neurologically, which leads to the explanation of its work as a psychotherapeutic agent and the cause of the “Ayahuasca effect.”

After taking the tea the areas of your brain with the most serotonin and dopamine receptors become uninhibited by GABA and their nuro activity goes up drastically. Think about the word uninhibited fir a moment. What do you normally think of when you say that about someone in a psychological sense? It has connotations of being less in control, freer in actions, of not thinking as much before acting. Being uninhibited in this way, and in the neurological sense, is the exact same phenomena.

The frontal cortex of the brain is where most of what you think of as “you” is located. That is, the parts of the personality that makes the executive decisions on what to do in the world, both internal and external, with the thoughts, information and sensation we are presented with. This area of the brain is heavily wired with axons that run directly from the cells that produce serotonin in the brain stem. The prefrontal cortex’s major GABA inhibitor and modulator is serotonin. Ayahuasca therefore dis-inhibits this area of the brain responsible for judgment and decisions. A decision about anything is made by inhibiting the neural patterns of all other possibilities until the one neural pattern remains. If that area of the brain is disinhibited and neural activity remains high, judgments and evaluations become more difficult to make.

In short, you tend to just accept the information and experience you are having without as much filtration and evaluation. It’s a hypnotic state that renders you more open to suggestion and less likely to critically evaluate the experience and information being received by the frontal cortex.

But there is more to the story than just frontal lobe suggestibility. The effects caused by the tea’s actions on dopamine also play an important role in its potential action as a therapeutic agent. Dopamine modulates GABA in much the same way that serotonin does. Two systems in the brain that use dopamine heavily for GABA regulation are the middle brain limbic system and areas of the brain that control fine motor functions that allow us to control smooth motor motions. The limbic system is a central controller and processor of both emotion and memory. In fact, it appears that emotion and the limbic system are key in forming most lasting memories.

One theory of trauma and repression states that when the brain can not assimilate an experience because it is too foreign to its schema, it’s sense of the way things should be, it represses that experience by sending chemical signals that tell the brain not to use those neural pathways. It stores the experience in pieces all over the brain, but does not complete the integration into memory. Since the instructions not to process, not to be neurologically active, can only be given as GABA signals to keep neurons in the “off” state, this repression of neurological signals must be maintained by modulating neurotransmitters . The presence of elevated levels of dopamine during the ayahuasca experience inhibit GABA in the limbic system, increasing activity there and overriding nurochemical processes that would limit the processing of experiences.

This means that the increase in neural activity in those areas of the brain tends to bring up repressed experiences and start the process of re-integrating them. As these memories and experiences are being once again brought into current processing memory in the mid brain they encounter a brain state profoundly different than the previous state that they were not processed during initially. For one thing, the elevated serotonin levels in the prefrontal cortex have disinhibited executive functioning due to the increase in overall neural activity. The part of the personality that would previously have passed judgment on the incoming experience is no longer as able to perform it’s limiting function. The re-emerging experiences are no longer filtered, no longer repressed out of ongoing processing. So, the higher levels of dopamine cause GABA inhibition and therefore higher activity in the limbic and midbrain systems that bring unprocessed experiences back into activity. Higher serotonin levels cause GABA inhibition and therefore higher activity levels in the prefrontal cortex that hinder the experience being re-repressed.

It is significant that ayahuasca acts on more than one modulating neurotransmitter, that it increases neural activity in a more even and coordinated way than other hallucinogens. Because of this there is far less disturbance of the intricate processing and transfers of information between different areas of the brain. The rising tide of neural activity raises all boats, brain systems as it were. The result is all systems continue to function together in much the same way they normally would. The person hallucinates and has a disinhibited thought process, but that process remains internally coherent without serious delusional processes or breakdown of the personality. Thought and cognition of the internal and external environments remains essentially intact. With other hallucinogens the imbalances brought about by less even regulation of the GABA system produce conditions where some areas of the brain are out of processing sync with others, resulting in more common instances of delusional thinking and loss of touch with reality, which rarely occurs with ayahuasca.

The condition brought in the brain by the tea is therefore ideal for the recalling of repressed experiences and emotions into conscious processing, lessening the chances the experiences will be re-repressed by executive functioning, and having the neural resources available to complete the processing and integration of those experiences.

Even with these advantages for personal integration brought about by high levels of the modulating neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine affecting the GABA system, there is yet another significant advantage ayahuasca gives to this psychotherapeutic process.

One reason experiences remain repressed is people become behaviorally conditioned to avoiding re-experiencing them. If the brain starts to re-integrate an anxiety producing memory the person naturally begins to experience some symptomatic form of anxiety. This often is experienced as sensations within the body such as tension in the muscles, sensations in the gut, changes in breathing, ect. The person literally “feels” anxious. If they then withdraw from the anxiety, by whatever means, they cease to process the experience and send it back to memory storage. The lessening of anxiety is experienced as a reward, it feels good to not be anxious. The person can become behaviorally self-conditioned by this reward effect not to integrate the past experience that causes the anxiety.

Ayahuasca offers a way to break this cycle. All sensations, therefore all anxiety, ultimately are brain states. Dopamine is the primary modulator of activity in the pleasure centers of the brain. Almost all addictive drugs act to produce dopamine-like substances that turn on the reward and pleasure centers. Ayahuasca is a dopamine agonist that increases activity in the pleasure centers. The result is a lessening of the ability to respond with physical sensations of anxiety during the same period that the brain in it’s GABA inhibited higher activity level is trying to process and integrate stored experiences. The higher activity levels in the pleasure centers help eliminate the anxiety that caused the person to become behaviorally conditioned . Ayahuasca interrupts the anxiety feedback loop and lessens the chance that the person will enter into the same avoidant conditioned response again. This is in contrast to addictive substances such as the opiates which lessen anxiety by affecting dopamine, but lower serotonin and decrease the brains ability to process and integrate experience, leaving the user worse off than before in terms of their ability to cope with experiences.

There is one last neurotransmitter to add to this mix, acetocholine. ACH is the neurotransmitter the nerves use to tell the muscles to contract. It is the transmitter that allows us to move voluntarily. The increased dopamine and serotonin levels of the ayahuasca effect also cross-regulate ACH. This means the levels of ACH go down. The less ACH available, the harder it is to voluntarily make the muscles move. The result is often a profound lethargy during the ayahuasca experience at the same time the anesthetic effect of dopamine is in play. The result is the person has a lessened ability to create anxiety feedback in the musculature because it is less able to respond. This further interrupts the conditioned anxiety feedback systems that can condition the person to not integrate experiences.

So, with all of this said, lets run through the ayahuasca effect from beginning to end to complete this explanatory fiction. Soon after the tea is ingested the harmine, harmaline and tetrehydroharmine cause monoamine oxidase inhibition in the digestive tract, allowing the DMT, harmine, harmaline and tetrehydroharmine to pass into the blood stream and eventually into the brain. Once there all four act as serotonin agonists to increase the effect of serotonin inhibition of the GABA systems in the brain. Dopamine is elevated as well.

GABA in the prefrontal cortex in inhibited, and as a result prefrontal cortex activity rises. The person’s thought processes become disinhibited, and the ability to judge and repress is inhibited as a direct result. At the same time elevated dopamine levels have inhibited GABA in the limbic and midbrain, causing increased neural activity in the areas of the brain responsible for integration of memory and experiencing emotion.

Experiences comes to conscious awareness because of the disinhabition in the limbic system, which then presents the experiences to the executive functions in the prefrontal cortex for a decision on whether or not to proceed with processing and integration. Normally this area of the brain would look at it’s self concept and view of the world and decide not to proceed because the experience was to discordant and produced unacceptable levels of anxiety as read from the somatic reactions from lower brain function. But now the prefrontal cortex is less able to limit those decisions because GABA has been inhibited, and the processing is not stopped.

In addition, the body is not getting the same somatic anxiety response because the elevated dopamine levels have the pleasure centers more active, and the musculature is somewhat unresponsive due to decreased levels of ACH. The result is the integration and processing goes forward this time, and the person experiences the full emotional experience without the somatic feedback and inhibition that previously stopped the process. Because the level of neurological activity is uniformly higher than normal, the experience is conscious rather than unconscious, allowing full memories to be integrated into present moment conscious experience. Because the person has elevated dopamine and ACH levels, they are not re-traumatized by the experience and the cycle of conditioned avoidance is interrupted. Both personal integration of experience and the making of the unconscious conscious are in this way achieved with the aid of the “ayahuasca effect.”

Anecdotal evidence from users of the tea treating depression suggest it can be effective in treating serotonin based depression, but it is not a magic bullet or cure-all. The tea tends to lift depression, but does not change the underlying personality. If the user was depressed because of trauma or had other personality issues before the depression, these issues will still be present if the tea lifts the depression. I have known people who were depressed with many somatic symptoms, took the tea, and had their aliments and depression replaced by anger. The anger was what the depression was keeping repressed, in some cases the anger was over incest or other traumatic abuses. The people were generally then able to move on into doing the work of healing and restructuring the way they think about their experiences. Ayahuasca gave them the opportunity and ability to do the work, but did not do it for them. My personal experience was the tea broke the cycle of depression and medications that prevented me from moving on to actual healing. Ayahuasca is potentially one of the most powerful antidepressant and psychotherapeutic therapies ever seen. At present the legal issues and lack of medical support and understanding around its use leave much of that potential unexplored. It is my hope that an understanding of the “ayahuasca effect” may someday allow direct research studies to be done of it’s effectiveness as an antidepressant treatment and tool of self awareness.

Talkin' it and Bein' it

"Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what's it's all about, all right. But talkin' about it and bein' it, that's two different things. I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em."

~ Easy Rider

146 Reasons Why Sugar Is Ruining Your Health

Nancy Appleton, Ph.D.

1. Sugar can suppress the immune system.
2. Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in the body.
3. Sugar can cause hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.
4. Sugar can produce a significant rise in triglycerides.
5. Sugar contributes to the reduction in defense against bacterial infection (infectious diseases).
6. Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function, the more sugar you eat the more elasticity and function you loose.
7. Sugar reduces high-density lipoproteins.
8. Sugar leads to chromium deficiency.
9. Sugar leads to cancer of the ovaries.
10. Sugar can increase fasting levels of glucose.
11. Sugar causes copper deficiency.
12. Sugar interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.
13. Sugar may make eyes more vulnerable to age-related macular degeneration.
14. Sugar raises the level of a neurotransmitters: dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine.
15. Sugar can cause hypoglycemia.
16. Sugar can produce an acidic digestive tract.
17. Sugar can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline levels in children.
18. Sugar malabsorption is frequent in patients with functional bowel disease.
19. Sugar can cause premature aging.
20. Sugar can lead to alcoholism.
21. Sugar can cause tooth decay.
22. Sugar contributes to obesity
23. High intake of sugar increases the risk of Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis.
24. Sugar can cause changes frequently found in person with gastric or duodenal ulcers.
25. Sugar can cause arthritis.
26. Sugar can cause asthma.
27. Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections).
28. Sugar can cause gallstones.
29. Sugar can cause heart disease.
30. Sugar can cause appendicitis.
31. Sugar can cause hemorrhoids.
32. Sugar can cause varicose veins.
33. Sugar can elevate glucose and insulin responses in oral contraceptive users.
34. Sugar can lead to periodontal disease.
35. Sugar can contribute to osteoporosis.
36. Sugar contributes to saliva acidity.
37. Sugar can cause a decrease in insulin sensitivity.
38. Sugar can lower the amount of Vitamin E (alpha-Tocopherol) in the blood.
39. Sugar can decrease growth hormone.
40. Sugar can increase cholesterol.
41. Sugar can increase the systolic blood pressure.
42. High sugar intake increases advanced glycation end products (AGEs)(Sugar bound non-enzymatically to protein)
43. Sugar can interfere with the absorption of protein.
44. Sugar causes food allergies.
45. Sugar can contribute to diabetes.
46. Sugar can cause toxemia during pregnancy.
47. Sugar can contribute to eczema in children.
48. Sugar can cause cardiovascular disease.
49. Sugar can impair the structure of DNA
50. Sugar can change the structure of protein.
51. Sugar can make our skin age by changing the structure of collagen.
52. Sugar can cause cataracts.
53. Sugar can cause emphysema.
54. Sugar can cause atherosclerosis.
55. Sugar can promote an elevation of low-density lipoproteins (LDL).
56. High sugar intake can impair the physiological homeostasis of many systems in the body.
57. Sugar lowers the enzymes ability to function.
58. Sugar intake is higher in people with Parkinson’s disease.
59. Sugar can increase the size of the liver by making the liver cells divide.
60. Sugar can increase the amount of liver fat.
61. Sugar can increase kidney size and produce pathological changes in the kidney.
62. Sugar can damage the pancreas.
63. Sugar can increase the body's fluid retention.
64. Sugar is enemy #1 of the bowel movement.
65. Sugar can cause myopia (nearsightedness).
66. Sugar can compromise the lining of the capillaries.
67. Sugar can make the tendons more brittle.
68. Sugar can cause headaches, including migraine.
69. Sugar plays a role in pancreatic cancer in women.
70. Sugar can adversely affect school children's grades and cause learning disorders.
71. Sugar can cause depression.
72. Sugar increases the risk of gastric cancer.
73. Sugar and cause dyspepsia (indigestion).
74. Sugar can increase your risk of getting gout.
75. Sugar can increase the levels of glucose in an oral glucose tolerance test over the ingestion of complex carbohydrates.
76. Sugar can increase the insulin responses in humans consuming high-sugar diets compared to low-sugar diets.
77. A diet high in refined sugar reduces learning capacity.
78. Sugar can cause less effective functioning of two blood proteins, albumin, and lipoproteins, which may reduce the body’s ability to handle fat and cholesterol.
79. Sugar can contribute to Alzheimer’s disease.
80. Sugar can cause platelet adhesiveness.
81. Sugar can cause hormonal imbalance; some hormones become under active and others become overactive.
82. Sugar can lead to the formation of kidney stones.
83. Diets high in sugar can cause free radicals and oxidative stress.
84. High sugar diet can lead to biliary tract cancer.
85. High sugar consumption of pregnant adolescents is associated with a twofold-increased risk for delivering a small-for-gestational-age (SGA) infant.
86. High sugar consumption can lead to substantial decrease in gestation duration among adolescents.
87. Sugar slows food's travel time through the gastrointestinal tract.
88. Sugar increases the concentration of bile acids in stools and bacterial enzymes in the colon. This can modify bile to produce cancer-causing compounds and colon cancer.
89. Sugar increases estradiol (the most potent form of naturally occurring estrogen) in men.
90. Sugar combines with and destroys phosphatase, an enzyme, which makes the process of digestion more difficult.
91. Sugar can be a risk factor of gallbladder cancer.
92. Sugar is an addictive substance.
93. Sugar can be intoxicating, similar to alcohol.
94. Sugar can exacerbate PMS.
95. Sugar given to premature babies can affect the amount of carbon dioxide they produce.
96. Decrease in sugar intake can increase emotional stability.
97. The rapid absorption of sugar promotes excessive food intake in obese subjects.
98. Sugar can worsen the symptoms of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
99. Sugar adversely affects urinary electrolyte composition.
100. Sugar can slow down the ability of the adrenal glands to function.
101.. I.Vs (intravenous feedings) of sugar water can cut off oxygen to the brain.
102. High sucrose intake could be an important risk factor in lung cancer.
103. Sugar increases the risk of polio.
104. High sugar intake can cause epileptic seizures.
105. Sugar causes high blood pressure in obese people.
106. In Intensive Care Units, limiting sugar saves lives.
107. Sugar may induce cell death.
108. Sugar can increase the amount of food that you eat.
109. In juvenile rehabilitation camps, when children were put on a low sugar diet, there was a 44% drop in antisocial behavior.
110. Sugar can lead to prostrate cancer.
111. Sugar dehydrates newborns.
112. Sugar can cause low birth weight babies.
113. Greater consumption of refined sugar is associated with a worse outcome of schizophrenia
114. Sugar can raise homocysteine levels in the blood stream.
115. Sweet food items increase the risk of breast cancer.
116. Sugar is a risk factor in cancer of the small intestine.
117. Sugar may cause laryngeal cancer.
118. Sugar induces salt and water retention.
119. Sugar may contribute to mild memory loss.
120. The more sodas a 10 year old child consumes, the less milk.
121. Sugar can increase the total amount of food consumed.
122. Exposing a newborn to sugar results in a heightened preference for sucrose relative to water at 6 months and 2 years of age.
123. Sugar causes constipation.
124. Sugar causes varicose veins.
125. Sugar can cause brain decay in prediabetic and diabetic women.
126. Sugar can increase the risk of stomach cancer.
127. Sugar can cause metabolic syndrome.
128. Sugar ingestion by pregnant women increases neural tube defects in embryos.
129. Sugar can be a factor in asthma.
130. The higher the sugar consumption the more chances of getting irritable bowel syndrome.
131. Sugar can affect the brain’s ability to deal with rewards and consequences.
132. Sugar can cause cancer of the rectum.
133. Sugar can cause endometrial cancer.
134. Sugar can cause renal (kidney) cell carcinoma.
135. Sugar can cause liver tumors.
136. Sugar can increase inflammatory markers in the blood stream of overweight people.
137. Sugar can lower Vitamin E levels in the blood stream.
138. Sugar can increase your appetite for all food.
139. Sugar plays a role in the etiology and the continuation of acne.
140. Too much sugar can kill your sex life.
141. Sugar saps school performance in children.
142. Sugar can cause fatigue, moodiness, nervousness and depression.
143. Sugar is common choice of obese individuals.
144. A linear decrease in the intake of many essential nutrients is associated with increasing total sugar intake.
145. High fructose consumption has been linked to liver disease.
146. Sugar adds to the risk of bladder cancer.